Dating and hook-ups

From mouthwash, to casual sex, to heartbreak

By Madeline Koers
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It’s kind of hard to concentrate on anything when all you can think about is BOYS. Yes, this is college. Yes, we are all here to get an education. At the same time, some of us are also looking to meet someone.

I’m not saying fall in love, get married, and have kids. I’m just saying that most of us have some expectation in our mind that either we’ll get laid during our college experience, we’ll date a lot of different people, or, for some, find someone we really like and start a relationship with them.

As a straight woman in her 20s, I personally have discovered that there’s nothing wrong with wanting all of the above. We can want sex. We can want to opt out of sex. We can want a relationship.

In this day and age, online dating is kind of a big deal. Those of us in the online dating scene are familiar with Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, OKcupid. Hell, there’s even a dating site for Trump supporters to meet called trump.dating. The list goes on.

I thought I would share a couple of experiences that I’ve had with the online dating world. In doing so, I can help some of you who are also trying to navigate these apps.

Date #1

I’ll call him the “mouth wash” guy.

So, I matched with this guy, and he seemed pretty nice. He has tattoos, and I like tattoos. He has a nice smile and lived pretty close. I figured, why not? I’ll go on a date with him.

He didn’t have a car, so I had to pick him up. (There’s nothing wrong with a guy not having a car, they’re expensive! But he should at least meet you somewhere or take an Uber so you’re not chauffeuring him around.)

When I picked him up, I realized he was shorter than me.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m already tall. I can’t really be with someone who is shorter than me, because in all honesty, it will make me feel like a giant. I know that sounds shallow, but let me continue this story. We decided on Starbucks, and he paid for my drink. Once we sat down, I found out quickly that we had nothing to talk about.

After about twenty minutes of awkward small talk, Mr. Mouth Wash asked, “Hey, since we are right by Target, do you think we can walk over? I need to get some mouthwash.” That was when I knew, nope this is literally going nowhere, but I guess we were going to Target. For fucking mouth wash.

Date #2

This guy seemed really nice when I matched with him on OKcupid. He also has tattoos (I know, I have a thing for tatted dudes) and he also has a cute smile. I’ll call him Max. I met him for coffee, and he was on his laptop when I arrived.

We actually had a lot to talk about, and I thought it was going really well—but after about two hours, Max said he had to go to “let his dog out.” I mean, it’s possible that he actually has a dog, but I never saw any dog pictures on his Instagram accounts.

Oh, and that was the other thing about Max. He loved taking pictures, but not just any kind of pictures; pictures of half-naked women.

*Insert eyeroll here*

After our coffee date, all he wanted to do was “Netflix and chill.” I was confused because from the conversations we had earlier, he wasn’t looking to hook-up. He was looking for friendship and then maybe dating. But he completely changed his mind…

When I didn’t respond to him he got mad, then unfollowed me on Instagram. Real mature Max! Then he posted on Snapchat that he was having a party. I messaged him asking why I hadn’t been invited. His response was, “Sorry, close friends only.”

Well, I guess that was the end of that. By the way bro, you’re not a photographer. You’re just a creep with a camera.

Date #3

Okay this wasn’t exactly a date. This was a straight up hook-up. We’ll call this guy Ravi. I matched with Ravi on Tinder, and we hit it off quickly. We Facetimed a few times, and he was incredibly sexy to me.

He is a musician, has tattoos and long hair. If you know me, you know he sounds like my dream guy. He told me from the get-go that he just wanted to “have fun” with me, and I was okay with that because well—I was lonely and didn’t care.

I ended up driving to his house in Santa Cruz to meet him. I really don’t recommend meeting a stranger for the first time in their home, meet at a public place first. He met me outside his house.

He looked super hippy-ish in real life, but I was okay with that. He gave me a hug right away, which was kind of weird, and then opened the door. Literally once he closed the door, he was all over me. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I liked it, but I had literally just walked in the door!

The sex was amazing!!

He was a lot more experienced than me, due to the fact he’s 30. He was sweet and nice and didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. After we had sex, he played a song for me on his guitar. You know, being a musician and all.

I almost died listening to him sing and play the guitar. He’s so talented! He said he had to go to work, so I left soon after that, and he said he would text me. Well, he never did. It’s been about 3 weeks.

I still follow him on Instagram, but I know that our hook-up was just that—a hook-up. Even if I did have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t share those same feelings. When you become intimate with someone, you do create a bond with them, and it can suck when you never see that person again.

So, if you know you’re the type of person that gets attached, you may not want to hook-up with people. You may just want to date people and see where it leads.

And there will always be more fish in the sea.

My conclusion is this:

Be careful. Don’t put yourself in a risky situation, like meeting a stranger at their house. If you decide to use any of these dating apps, proceed with caution. You could bond with someone who will eventually ghost you. There are a lot of jerks on these apps. Sometimes, the guys that seem the sweetest, are the worst. Also, just throwing this out there: don’t ever forget to use a condom.

Good luck out there, kids.

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