Ask Max

Disclaimer: This advice is meant to be helpful and informative, but it should not be taken as professional advice. Max is not an expert in any field; if you need further assistance, please refer to CSUMB campus resources. Submissions for Ask Max can be sent in on @thelutrinae on Instagram..

How do I get over a hallway crush OR get them to shave their head so that they give me the ick! Can you give me the male perspective? How would you like someone to pursue you?

Thank you so much for responding! I think that this is a really compelling question because we can examine the different perspectives of this situation. 

Regardless of your gender, the thought of approaching someone can be intimidating. We can get caught up in how we imagine we’re being perceived, and unfortunately this holds us back from opening ourselves up. 

You don’t have to think of introducing yourself to your crush as “pursuing” them. Breaking the ice with a stranger can seem difficult regardless of how you feel about them, but if you imagine yourself in his shoes, it might not be as scary. 

I’ve heard from plenty of other guys that when a girl compliments them, it completely catches them off guard because we aren’t really used to receiving compliments. While it’s unexpected, I think that it’s a great feeling, and I always remember the people who stop me on campus and say something nice. I would be flattered to receive a random compliment no matter who it came from, and I think that this is how you should introduce yourself to your crush. 

He’ll be more likely to receive it well if the compliment is genuine, so I would consider telling him what you like about him. For example, if you like his style and compliment his shoes, you could ask where he got them and start a conversation. Once you get that far the hardest part is over, and if it feels right, you could ask him for his number. 

I’m rooting for you and I hope that you talk to him because I know how it feels to like someone and get caught in the cycle of wondering about the ‘what ifs.’ I think it’s normal to feel like you’re going a little crazy when you have a crush, and the only way to make something happen or get closure is to shoot your shot. 

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