The scariest parts of the final Presidential Debate

American’s viewed a fast-paced and fairly intense final Presidential Debate when aired on Oct. 22. Here’s a recap of the most horrifying parts of debate, which were sure to leave viewers quaking in their boots. 

6:04 p.m. 

Trump said a COVID-19 vaccine “will be announced in weeks.” Mark your calendars for two weeks from now, because it seems pigs will be flying on that date as well. 

Count this as one of the scariest moments in American, mid-pandemic history. 

6:15 p.m. 

Trump declared that he “caught [COVID-19], learned a lot and [he] recovered” and that “ninety-nine percent of young people recover” from the virus, according to spookyunknownsource.com

6:18 p.m.

When asked about his plan for healing the country from COVID-19, Biden said, “What I would say is I’m going to shut down the virus, not the country.”

Did his campaign help him with this slogan because if that was the case, ‘Merica should be worried. Or, did Sleepy Joe come up with this bright slogan himself?

6:22 p.m.

“Look at the states that are having such a spike in the coronavirus. They’re the red states,” Biden said. “They are the states in the Midwest, they are the states in the upper Midwest, that’s where the spike is occurring significantly.”

The real question here should people be more scared of Trump or his supporters? At this point, MEGA loyalists who don’t wear masks and then pursue their governors to open their states before they’re ready thus leads to an increase of COVID cases. It’s chilling, really.

6:25 p.m. 

Hold on a minute, did sleepy Joe just wake up and make a valid point? 

“Think about what the President knew in January and didn’t tell the American people. He was told this was a serious virus that spread in the air, and it was much worse than — much worse — than the flu. He went on record and said to one of your colleagues, recorded, that in fact he knew how dangerous it was but he didn’t want to tell us, didn’t want to tell us because he didn’t want us to panic,” said Biden.

I’m just gonna sit back and spit my tea on this scary piece of information.

In case you missed it, Trump did know how severe the virus was back in February. If he would have acted sooner, maybe all the Karens wouldn’t have bought all the toilet paper. 

6:30 p.m.

“He was selling pillows and sheets – I sold tank busters to Ukraine,” Trump said. “There has been nobody harder on Russia than Donald Trump.”

Speaking in the third person – now that’s scary. 

6:33 p.m. 

“I prepaid 10’s of millions in prepaid taxes” Trump said. 

Can he hook us up with the magical IRS fairy he visits every April? 

Anyways, tax fraud is pretty frightening.

6:41 p.m.

“There’s a reason why he’s bringing up all this malarkey,” Biden said.

Merlarky? That word came straight out of a 100-year-old house! Sit down and pull out those dusty dictionaries my fellow Gen Z-ers because we are about to take the magic school bus back in time to when Merlarky was a common word

6:43 p.m.

Welker asked both candidates about the declining economy and how it’s affecting the country. 

“You’re sitting at the kitchen table this morning deciding, well, we can’t get new tires, they’re bald, because we have to wait another month. Or, so are we going to be able to pay the mortgage? Who’s going to tell her, she can’t go back to community college? They’re the decisions you’re making in the middle class families like I grew up, in Scranton and Claymont. They’re in trouble,” Biden said. 

That scary moment when you get caught up in the pathos of Biden’s speech, until he throws in the ethos of “like I grew up, in Scranton.” The most old school political rhetoric known to man. This is your weekly edition of Politics 101,  folks.

6:47 p.m. 

When Biden mentioned his relationship with Kim Jong-Un, Trump continued to interrupt the debate’s moderator Kristen Welker. 

“They left me a mess, North Korea was a mess!” Trump said. 

Welker tried to move on to a new question, but was overruled by the candidate’s need to interject.

This was the moment all hope of the mute button was lost and the debate became a lot more eerie. 

6:55 p.m. 

“He thinks he’s running against someone else. He’s running against Joe Biden. I beat all those other people because I disagreed with them. Joe Biden, he’s running against,” Biden declared about himself.

Watch out America! Our white savior is here to save us. He may be 77 (three years older than Trump) but he’s got some scary confidence.

6:58 p.m.

“I’m running as a proud Democrat, but I’m going to be an American president. I don’t see red states and blue states. What I see is American United States. And folks, every single state out there finds themselves in trouble,” Biden said. 

Someone pass the barf bag. Can we stop with this horrible old-school American president rhetoric?! PLEASE!

Third party presidential candidate where you at? (Just kidding, please don’t make this another 2016.)

7:07 p.m.

The two candidates debated about immigration, specifically on the catch-and-release law. That’s when Trump declared only “those with the lowest IQ” will come back for their court date after being released. 

The lack of correlation in this debate made viewers’ skin crawl. 

7:08 p.m. 

Here was a chilling dialogue exchanged by the two candidates:

Trump: You put tens of thousands of mostly Black young men in prison. Now you’re saying you’re going to get – you’re going to undo that. Why didn’t you get it done? You had eight years with Obama? You know why, Joe, because you’re all talk and no action. 

Biden: We had a Republican Congress. That’s the answer.

Then came a seconds-long pause that gave viewers goosebumps. 

Trump: … Well, you gotta talk – you gotta talk ’em into it, Joe. Sometimes you gotta talk ‘em into it. 

That scary moment when everyone thought their TV/Smart device had a glitch, but in reality it was just a super long pause and W.T.F. moment to Biden’s horrible response to Trump’s argument

7:17 p.m.

On the topic of race and people of color having to give their children ‘the talk’ on police brutality, Trump responded to the phenomena by saying he “is the least racist person” in the room and that he has done the most for people of color “with the exception of Abraham Lincoln.”

When Biden jokingly referred back to Trump as Abraham Lincoln, there was a jarringly, terrifyingly long pause between the two candidates. 

Trump looked over to Biden, confused. “Where did that come in … I didn’t say ‘I am Abraham Lincoln.’” 

In that moment, Biden seemed as terrified as the viewers. He looked towards the camera.

“Oh God,” Biden said.

7:28 p.m.

They’re haunting, they’re tall, they’re killing the birds! – Everyone be fearful of “The Windmills!”

“The Windmills” will premiere this Halloween.

On the topic of climate change, Trump disapproved of using energy-efficient windmills as they “kill all the birds.” 

I guess we should prepare for a fight with those things next time we’re driving through  the country.

Sorry we had you read such spooky stuff. Remember to vote by Nov. 3, because the country is really scary without your civil input! 

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