I looked at you from across the table
You spoke to the room
something about what you heard on the news
But I didn’t hear more than that
I was so fixated on your face
The consistency of the neatly shaved hair of your beard
the outline of the shape of your jaw
You didn’t catch my eye the day I first saw you
but something had changed since then
I couldn’t tell you what it was
So I watched you for the weeks following
through the trimming of the hair living on your chin
and when you removed that same hair completely
I didn’t recognize you
I continued to watch you when that same hair grew back in the 2 weeks that followed
just as consistent as before
like it had never left
I can’t remember most of the words you ever said to me
maybe because I didn’t care
maybe because the look in your eyes
never matched the words that poured from your lips
And as I watched you and the weeks passed
I knew that you were watching me too
So I tried to do things better than I usually did
out of fear that you might see my flaws
I watched you when you weren’t looking
and I watched you watching me
I did this for
months
until
you said my name
you said my name wrong