Paranoia

By Arthur Muñoz
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Pictured: Author Arthur Muñoz

From the Poet:
“I wrote these pieces of art because there is power behind everyone’s story. Maybe you’re aware or haven’t noticed, but you are, in fact, a very powerful and important individual. Share your story. Don’t be ashamed. Through art or through any other form of expression, your story will inspire others.”

Paranoia

I​ ​feel ​the​ ​thunder​ ​in​​ my​​ veins,
my​ heart’s​​ ​pace​ ​has​ ​changed.
Feeling​ the​​ adrenaline​​ ​and​ ​the ​redness​​ ​of​ ​my​ ​face.

Searching​ ​left​ ​and​ ​right,
gripping ​on​ ​my​​ ​knife.
Looking ​all​ ​panicky​​ ​like​ ​if ​I​​ ​sniffed​ ​a​ ​line.

It’s​ ​the​ ​paranoia​ ​that​ ​comes​ ​in​ ​volts.
A​ paranoia​ ​overdose​ ​​that​ makes​ ​me​​ ​lose​ ​it​ ​all.

I​ ​become​ too​​ ​worry​ ​of ​​what’s​ ​not​ ​really​ ​there,
tripping ​ on​​ the​​ small​​ things​ ​​like ​the​​ ​whispers​ ​of​ ​the​ air.

Having​ ​to​ ​sleep​ ​with​ a​ ​gun​​ ​near​ by,​
reaching​ for​ the​​ cuete​ at ​every​ ​​sound​ ​of​ ​the ​​night.

Waking ​​up​ ​alone​ not​​ ​knowing​ ​who​ ​to​ ​trust,
although ​I​ ​got​ ​homies​ who’ve​​ ​always​ ​showed​ ​love.

How​ ​can​ ​I​ ​control​ ​my​ ​mind​ ​when​ ​it’s​ playing​​ ​me​ ​a​ fool?
How​ ​can​ ​I​ ​kill​ ​the​ ​enemy​ ​if​ ​it’s​ ​inside​ ​my​ ​soul​ ​and​ ​skull?

How ​can​ ​I​ ​get​ ​the​​ voices​​ finally​​ ​outside​ of​​ ​my​ head?
‘Cuz​ all​​ I​​ truly​​ want​​ is​​ to​​ ​live ​a​ ​​life
where​ ​I​ ​don’t​ ​expect​ ​to​ ​wound​ ​up​ ​dead.

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