Disclaimer: This advice is meant to be helpful and informative, but it should not be taken as professional advice. Max is not an expert in any field; if you need further assistance, please refer to CSUMB campus resources. Submissions for Ask Max can be sent in here.
“It’s my crush’s last semester! We are a semester apart. We have been doing a lot of couple things lately but have never explicitly said it’s a date or not. How do I get over the fear of just saying I like them before they graduate to have no regrets?“
Dear responder,
Confessing your feelings can be a tricky challenge in the game of love, but it sounds to me like you’re already halfway there! You and your crush are spending time and building a connection, and all that’s left to do is tell them how you feel.
Sometimes the best plan is to have no plan and tell them how you feel in the moment when your intuition says the time is right. In one of these moments, I would tell my hypothetical crush the things I like about them and the way they make me feel. However, if you’re a procrastinator or find yourself getting extremely anxious in these types of situations, it might be best to put some more thought into your confession.
One of my strategies for having a challenging conversation is to come up with an exit route. By that, I mean getting something off your chest when you’re about to part ways with them after spending time together, so that you can have some space to breathe and process afterward. I had a very ungraceful exit strategy years ago when I came out to my mom as she dropped me off at school in the morning, but I don’t think I would have been able to do it any other way. What I did came off as very avoidant and I received a strongly worded text from my mom after, but there are definitely better ways of executing the exit route. I’ve even had someone else pull the exit route on me, and it worked like a charm. If you want to tell them how you feel in person but have a difficult time with confrontation, this would probably be the easiest way of doing it.
Sometimes we can put pressure on ourselves to create an ambiance in the moment, but there’s no shame in sending a “risky” text. The pros of sending a text seem to outweigh the cons; when texting, you can take the time to think of exactly what you want to say, and there’s less hesitation when you don’t have to look someone in the eye. The con, however, having to wait for a response, is one that personally drives me crazy, and makes me even more anxious than just saying what I need to say face to face.
I wish you luck with your crush, but truthfully I don’t think you need it! I would love to hear from you again to see how things went in a follow-up response.
Sincerely,
-Max