Escaping the Friend Zone

By Taya Buehler-Reagan
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You have known your friend for a long time now and you spend a large majority of time together. Although, it seems that the majority of the time you’ve spent with them, they have always either been in a long-term relationship, bounced from one relationship to the next or were simply not ready for one. Either way, they seem to be lacking in the department of interest when it comes to the idea of you two as an item. But you spend day and night imagining what it might be like to finally be with them, and each time you see them your heart kind of stops doing its job of keeping you alive.

The euphoria you feel when they say your name, laugh at your joke or touch your arm. It brings you the greatest joy you’ve ever felt. But you’re stuck, in that dark dingy, hellish place. The place that keeps you awake at night, shuttering in the cold wasted space of desire. Welcome to, the Friend Zone. Well this sucks, I mean, how does anyone expect another person to sit in this awful waiting room for eternity?

Good question. But first, have you actually told them how you feel yet? Do they know they have pushed you to the back of the line and down some stairs, into a pit of quicksand? Because playing the guessing game is really just as bad as being in the Friend Zone.

The first escape route out of the Friend Zone is to ask if they’ll throw you a ladder. Meaning, tell them how you feel about them and give them a chance to decide if that is something they may be interested in. Chances are, if you have been friends with someone for a while, it may be hard for them to imagine you as anything else. BUT, if you bring it to their attention, it may spark something.

If that didn’t seem to work, the next route is to change their view of you. Right now, you have a giant sign on your face that reads “FRIEND,” so the goal is to show them a more romantic side of you. That way, they now have the opportunity to see how you would be in a relationship.

If they still don’t see the new sign that reads “relationship material,” I hate to break it to you, but your lover is one tough nut. Your friend may need some more time to absorb this new information, or maybe they need more time to figure themselves out, before committing to another person. So be patient, because it might be just as awkward for them as it is for you. And things will always find their way if they are supposed to work out. That doesn’t mean give up, but maybe don’t be too persistent, and enjoy the time you have as their friend for now.

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