Poem 1
I can’t breathe
My lungs feel as though they are filled with sand
Not the soft warm sand that nestles between your toes
But the sand that hides and burrows within
The sand that is rough and mixed with the broken seashells people don’t pick up
With each slow painful breath, the room slowly fills with a heavy vapor
A heavy green vapor of his cigarettes and cheap cologne
A heavy vapor that dances through the air and chases my hope and childhood innocence
It dances like the ballerinas I watched on TV
The ballerinas that are free from the many monsters that pour sand within me each day
Oh how I wish I could dance like them
Oh how I wish I could be them
I try to emulate the ballerinas in my mind
but as I get on stage the stitches in my glittery tutu begin to unravel
It falls to shreds on the floor with pieces of my essence
The smoke dissipates as I come back into my body, aware of every feeling, aware of my reality
The pain makes me gasp
Gasp for a breath
Gasp for a being that will not come for me
Gasp for just one man to treat me more than a vessel to store their sand
Poem 2
In heaven, there is a team of Angels that prepare children for their lives on earth
Their wings are stitched with hope and endearment
Their clothes are white like the snowflakes that settle on your nose
“Come my darling for it is your time,” my Guardian Angel said softly
“Why must I leave? I’m not ready for the life I must endure on earth” I cried
Yes, you will have to endure much in your life but it is to prepare your for God’s work
“You are different my dear, you were chosen amongst many” My Angel reassured
God has provided me with your basket and each thing will be placed in your heart
Here is your hope in which you will cling onto for dear life
Here is your strength that will nest in your spirit like a baby bird
Here is your love which you will sprinkle onto others like a baker dusting a cake
Here is your courage to pave the way
Here is your light which you somehow never let burn out
I am sorry but I must also fill your basket with the things you will endure
Why? I can’t be the one, there has to be another to fulfil this role, I’m not ready! I say
In your life weakness will chase you like a lion hunting a gazelle
Darkness will drape over your being like a wave covering the shore
You will have to hold on through the pain and hurt
You will reach out for your own hand
But you are extraordinary
You will change the lives of many
You are a light amidst the darkness
You
Were
Chosen
It is time to go but I will be with you every step of the way watching over you
You are ready
“You are,” says the Angle wiping my tears
With each caress of my check
I slowly sink down from the clouds into my mother’s arms